Saturday, 1 April 2017

Spotlight Saturday

Spotlight on Mothering Sunday

Yes, Mothering Sunday, not Mother’s Day! That’s what my wonderful mother-in-law always used to say to me. And this year it got me thinking a lot about mothers as my mother-in-law passed away last September so this was the first Mothering Sunday without her. Did you celebrate it? Do you think it is over commercialised? What about those who have recently lost their mothers, or not even recently lost them, how do they cope with this being thrown in their faces for the month leading up to it?
One of the best photos ever of Hugh with his Mum and actually the last photo of them together.
 I know that one of Penny’s friends, who is only 30 years old, lost her mother 7 years ago and she struggles every year with this day. It brings to the forefront that she no longer has her mum with her and I know that on a day to day basis she finds it hard to deal with and at this time of year she finds it very hard and sometimes even has to take herself off social media in order to be able to cope.
So has it all become too commercialised? Shouldn’t we be celebrating mothers all year round and not just on one day a year?
I am very lucky to be nearly 51 years old and still have my Mum with me. Her birthday is 22 March so Mother’s Day always  occurs near her birthday and she has always said ‘don’t buy my a present for that too’ but of course we always do. And we celebrate with her, but what we are really celebrating is her birthday. Since becoming a mother myself nearly 28 years ago (gulp!) I have received a card and present from each of my children but we never do anything out of the ordinary on the Sunday. It is just a normal day for us although sometimes Hugh may cook one of the meals and occasionally I get breakfast in bed!
This year has been hard for us. My mother-in-law was a very special person and I miss her dreadfully. I would always send her a present and card down to her in Cornwall and give her a ring and have a lovely long chat – which we would do on a regular basis anyway and I miss doing that every week. We tried to keep is low key this year to help Hugh with his grieving process.  We did celebrate with my Mum as usual on the Saturday but this wasn’t hard as we were celebrating her birthday.

On Sunday this year Penny had wrestling to go to. Hugh and I did the normal Sunday jobs, cleaning the bathrooms, ironing, accounts, online shopping, making a Slimming World quiche and getting lunches ready for Monday and Tuesday. We then went for a walk together to a new to us Wildlife Reserve, Warley Place. We had a fantastic walk in the sunshine and reminisced about Hugh's mum which was very therapeutic.

I then spent the afternoon scrapbooking but that is what I do on  a Sunday. I did receive a couple of lovely cards from the children and some wonderful gifts too.

Would I go without Mothering Sunday? Yes, I could quite live without it - the best part was actually spending time with my children and my mum, but I am happy to go with the flow to keep the family happy!


Alison said...

Lovely to see you kept your promise to be here! I too could live without Mother's Day but for the opposite makes me think of the 'what could have been' should Stuart still be with's very low key for me, though Kirsty always sends a card xx Funnily enough my own mum's Birthday is on the 30th (as well as our W/Anniversary on the 29th) so there can be other things to think about!xx

Jo said...

We don't go overboard with it here and my dark time is when it's getting close to Father's Day. It's another day that we didn't really go overboard with but when a parent is missing it does sometimes feel like everyone is saying "nah, nah look what I've got and you haven't". It sounds like you and Hugh had a great day together x

alexa said...

A very thoughtful and thought-provoking post ... I don't like the commercialisation of Mothering Sunday, and we've always encouraged a low-key approach in our family; my Mum's birthday was the 19th and, like you, the two celebrations often came close together. I think we just need to accept that living with loss of loved ones can be hard, and there will always be especially difficult times.